Is Being Selfish Really so Bad?

What do you think of when you hear the word “selfish?”   It’s something bad, right?  To make you feel guilty?  Like you only think of yourself and not others?

What if I said “ticklish” or “sluggish” or “feverish”?   That means “a little bit” of something.

So to be selfish can mean to think of yourself a little bit.  It seems to me when we think only a “little bit” of ourselves, we are stressed, overwhelmed, and sad because our needs aren’t met.

Esther Hicks wrote, “You must be selfish enough to align with well-being.” 

I want to create a new word, SELFULL.  Sounds bold!  But hear me out.

When we want to do something and do it well, it makes sense to give it our time and attention.  To put in some energy and reap some return on our investment.  

Think of carefully threading a needle, mindfully petting your cat, being useful as a volunteer, or being joyful at your birthday dinner.

As a woman, I want you to be “selfull” because that equals self-care, and self-care equals self-love.  Care and love are never bad words. Never.  These are not actions that trigger guilt.

When we care for ourselves we lower our stress levels and prevent overwhelm, burnout, and fatigue.  We practice healthy boundaries with ourselves.  We learn compassion and patience and acceptance. 

Self-care has not been researched much outside of chronic illness care, but studies show that self-care can diminish the chance of illness, lower depression, and increase the quality of life. 

Tchiki Davis, Ph.D. has a sensible list of free, simple self-care ideas.  

My reminder to you is to do your self-care with intention.  

Say to yourself, “I am reading this book now as a sign that I am taking care of myself.”   

And, “I love myself enough to go for a walk today.”  

Or, “I’m watching this movie because it feels good to take time for myself.”

I have been “selfull” for years now, and I can tell you that it gets easier with time and strengthens you in the best ways.  It improves your interactions with those around you and opens your heart to kindness.  The ultimate act of selfulness is to connect with yourself, the only person you will always be with. 

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